 Web Wag
Remember When ...
A PROGRAM was a TV show.
A CURSOR used profanity.
And a KEYBOARD was a piano.....
MEMORY was something that you lost with age.
A CD was an investment.
COMPRESS was something that you did with the garbage.
LOG ON was adding wood to the fire.
HARD DRIVE was a long trip on the road.
A MOUSE PAD was where a mouse lived.
And a BACKUP was a sewer problem.
CUT you did with a pocket knife, and PASTE you did with glue.
A WEB was a spider's home, and a VIRUS was the flu.
A COMPUTER was something in a
science fiction show.
A WINDOW was something you hated to clean.
And RAM was the cousin of a goat.
MEG was the name of my girlfriend.
Now they all mean different things And that really MEGA BYTES
Translate this ...
A man and a female companion ascended a rise in the local territory in order to obtain and bring back a container of aqueous liquid.
Answer: Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
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The lighter side...
The highway patrolman noticed a car going just 22 miles an hour. He pulled the car over and noticed that there were five old ladies inside, eyes wide and white as ghosts.
The officer explained that driving too slow can be dangerous.
" But officer," said the driver proudly. I was doing the speed limit exactly, twenty-two miles an hour!"
The officer explained that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit and asked if they were all OK.
"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer," the driver said. "We just got off Route 119."
LINES FROM RESUMES
WE HOPE AREN'T TRUE
*My ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.
* Hope to hear from you shorty.
* Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.
* My fortune cookie said, "Your next interview will result in a job."
* Previous experience: Self-employed (a fiasco).
* I am a rabid typist.
* My experience in horticulture is well-rooted.
* Education: College, August 1880 to May 1984.
* Special skills: Speak English.
* I am sicking an entry-level position.
* I saw your ad on the information highway and came to a screeching halt.
* Served as assistant sore manager.
* Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.
* Education: B.A., Loberal Arts.
* Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis.
* Experienced with office machines and make great lattes.
* Graduated in top 66 percent of my class. " |
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To obtain a printable copy of the Crossword and Sudoku puzzles (with clues) please click the link or puzzle image below.
APRIL HELPER'S CROSSWORD PUZZLE
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